"Bwana Bob's Bring'em

 Back Alive Capture Kit"

You can capture any size critter with this amazing kit. from "Safari Arnie's Safari Essentials."

YOU GET:

1 pair of "Safari Arnie's Super Sight Binoculars"

1 pair "Bwana Bob's Unpatented Vise-Clutch Tweezers"

1 "Jungle June Super Strength Capture Net"

1 "Tarzan Terry's Irresistible Critter Catcher Lures & Baits"

1 "Jeffrito's 1 quart Salsa Jar & Critter Container & Chips"

1 "Khartoum Kit's Duck Blind & Luau Tent"

INSTRUCTIONS

   Set up the blind in a suitable area. We're set up here in Los Angeles, California underneath the Hollywood Freeway near Sunset Blvd, a known elephant stomping grounds since Jumbo's Clown Room tavern is nearby.   Place the bait, we're using the "Peanutty Flavorscent" on some of the chips to catch us an elephant. Quietly sit in the blind until the elephant approaches. When that happens, simply pick up your Safari Arnie binoculars and look through them backwards. You will notice that the elephant is now a manageable size!  You now merely pick up the elephant with the tweezers and put him in the empty salsa jar! At this point your own your own because I have no idea what you're going to do with an elephant in a quart jar in the middle Hollywood! CAUTION: If he escapes the jar, keep looking at him through the wrong end of the binoculars or have the elephant look through the binoculars, either way! One way you're this huge giant and he'll run or the other way you'll be so small he'll probably think your a mouse, and since elephants are afraid of mice he'll run.

    Now that wild game is no longer an option, all is not lost. Simply turn the "Khartoum Kit's Tent" to the luau side, break out the Jeffritos salsa and chips, add some libation and let's PARTY!!!

Ps ~ I've been told that certain of the "Tarzan Terry's Irresistible Critter Catcher Lures & Baits" are good to catch members of the opposite sex. Pick wisely.

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