VD2K |
We have just received word on a potentially dangerous computer glitch, called the VD2K bug. On February 14, 2000 from midnight to 11:59 p.m., the world's computers will suffer a breakdown like none seen before.
The cause of this problem will be the overload and needless use of Valentine's Day web greeting sites like Yahoo! Greetings or Bluemountain Greetings. Due to the widespread usage of the Internet and the inclusion of associated multimeda - such as cheesy MIDI song files attached to such greetings - computers of the world will crash, leading to the unavailability of services, civil unrest and the eventual breakdown of society.
Unlike the much-hyped Y2K bug, the VD2K bug is much more threatening due to the fact that computers do not have ample time to become VD2K-compliant, nor can they be.
There is no way to avoid the VD2K bug, the best way to confront it is to prepare. We recommend building yourself a VD2K bunker with the necessities to survive for at least 24 hours.
Your bunker should be equipped with a VD2K survival kit, which should include the following:
Computer. Although this is the most vulnerable part of your kit, it can also be the most powerful tool. Stay away from any pro-Valentine's Day-related web sites, especially web-greeting sites! Delete any and all Valentines-Day greetings - especially forwarded mass-email from a friend or acquaintance who hasn't been on the Internet for very long and thinks its cool to be doing such things. Stay away from anything bearing the image of, or even resembling hearts, cupids, candies, teddy bears, balloons, flowers and silhouettes of people embracing. This goes for video files (.mov, .avi, RealVideo), image files (.gif, .jpg) and even lame ASCII art.
Supply of Cash. You will need a supply of cash, good enough for at least 24 hours. Use this cash to spend on yourself, rather than blowing it on a so-called "loved one" who will eventually leave you. True, money can't buy happiness, but spending it all on yourself yields to a more justifiable investment.
Wastebasket, Scissors or Paper Shredder. Use any of these to destroy and dispose of any Valentine's Day-related paraphernalia/propoganda that you may encounter at home or in the office. This includes: newspaper "Valentine's Day Sale" advertisements, Token mass-distributed Valentine's Day cards given to you at school or at the office, etc. While burning of such material is most appropriate, we do encourage you to be ecologically conscious and place them in the recycled paper bins.
Canned food. Keep an adequate supply of canned food in your VD2K kit. There is no real need to buy some, just utilize what you already have. Attached people are expected to dine out during VD2K, so enjoy your canned supplies while you can.
Remember, preparedness is the best method to confront the VD2K bug. Stay aware and informed!